Week Eighteen - The Final Instalment!
So this is it. After 17 complete weeks of hard labour, stress, worry, expense and fretting, the Grand Switch On. Except first I have a teensy problem. During Sunday night a 40’ tree has blown down.
On to the new path by the shed. It missed the shed by about a foot. BLOODY HELL! My nerves are, again, in shreds, and, just to help, I seem to be starting some sort of bug. This means that when Sarah and Vincent arrive it is not ‘hello, how lovely to see you, how’s things?’ but more ‘You won’t believe what’s happened how are you with a chain saw?’ (My apologies again, Sarah and Vincent…)
Guy arrives and, with four of us at it, the tree doesn’t take long to shift, although it is after lunch before we get to the Grand Switch On.
Vincent and I fill the motor with hydraulic fluid, check all the lines and … we’re ready. I flick the switch and BANG! Not, in fact, the electrics exploding, but Vincent, such a wag, saying BANG! for a laugh. I hit him. We flick all the switches, push the start button – and IT WORKS!!! WOO HOO!!!
On to the new path by the shed. It missed the shed by about a foot. BLOODY HELL! My nerves are, again, in shreds, and, just to help, I seem to be starting some sort of bug. This means that when Sarah and Vincent arrive it is not ‘hello, how lovely to see you, how’s things?’ but more ‘You won’t believe what’s happened how are you with a chain saw?’ (My apologies again, Sarah and Vincent…)
Guy arrives and, with four of us at it, the tree doesn’t take long to shift, although it is after lunch before we get to the Grand Switch On.
Vincent and I fill the motor with hydraulic fluid, check all the lines and … we’re ready. I flick the switch and BANG! Not, in fact, the electrics exploding, but Vincent, such a wag, saying BANG! for a laugh. I hit him. We flick all the switches, push the start button – and IT WORKS!!! WOO HOO!!!
I HAVE AN ENDLESS POOL!!! Regardless of the fact that the water is a freezing cold 16°, I get in for a swim – and IT WORKS!!! The swim current is not as strong as it should be, so I get out and phone the US…. I can’t connect on my mobile, so I go into the house, phone, get instructions, ring off, go back out, go back in, phone, get instructions…. About three times. Then Vincent figures it out, and suddenly we have LOTS of power.
I get in for another swim…. I am, by this time, entirely blue and completely frozen but, no matter, I HAVE A POOL!!! Nobody else gets in to join me – something about the Water Being Too Cold.
On Tuesday the water is still an absolutely mind numbing sixteen degrees, and it occurs to us that the heater isn’t working….. Wyn comes to the rescue, figures it out, and suddenly we have a pool that might get warmer….
I get in for another swim…. I am, by this time, entirely blue and completely frozen but, no matter, I HAVE A POOL!!! Nobody else gets in to join me – something about the Water Being Too Cold.
On Tuesday the water is still an absolutely mind numbing sixteen degrees, and it occurs to us that the heater isn’t working….. Wyn comes to the rescue, figures it out, and suddenly we have a pool that might get warmer….
Vincent and Sarah more than earn their keep by building a flight of steps while Guy and I dash off to the clock shop to see if my clock is on it’s way, and to Newport to buy more of the specialist woodstain.
Wednesday, in honour of the fact that we have visitors and it is Not The Done Thing to make them work every single hour of their stay, we head for Gloucester Docks and the Museum of Modern Packaging. There is, being me, a ‘pool reason’ for going – I am still looking for some art for the wall, and think that a retro advertising pool image would be just the thing. We have a lovely day out, with a picnic and a dog walk. And I’m sure the Museum of Modern Packaging would have been just as terrific as it always was – if it hadn’t closed two years ago…… If anyone knows where it’s gone, can you let me know?!
On Thursday my throat is far worse, my voice is completely gone, and I am TOO ILL TO SWIM. This is not good news. Seventeen weeks of hard labour, three days of having a pool, and I am not well enough to use it…. BUGGER. We finish the tongue and groove around the pool and Vincent invents a fantastic guttering thingy to collect water coming off the roller and stop it hitting the floor. Inspired! We practice duck racing in readiness for the Grand Opening. The fun really starts in the evening when we go to IKEA for serious shopping – fun or what? And yes, you can get four people and a large rattan chair in a Megane. If you’re prepared for one of your guests to become intimately acquainted with said chair….
Wednesday, in honour of the fact that we have visitors and it is Not The Done Thing to make them work every single hour of their stay, we head for Gloucester Docks and the Museum of Modern Packaging. There is, being me, a ‘pool reason’ for going – I am still looking for some art for the wall, and think that a retro advertising pool image would be just the thing. We have a lovely day out, with a picnic and a dog walk. And I’m sure the Museum of Modern Packaging would have been just as terrific as it always was – if it hadn’t closed two years ago…… If anyone knows where it’s gone, can you let me know?!
On Thursday my throat is far worse, my voice is completely gone, and I am TOO ILL TO SWIM. This is not good news. Seventeen weeks of hard labour, three days of having a pool, and I am not well enough to use it…. BUGGER. We finish the tongue and groove around the pool and Vincent invents a fantastic guttering thingy to collect water coming off the roller and stop it hitting the floor. Inspired! We practice duck racing in readiness for the Grand Opening. The fun really starts in the evening when we go to IKEA for serious shopping – fun or what? And yes, you can get four people and a large rattan chair in a Megane. If you’re prepared for one of your guests to become intimately acquainted with said chair….
On Friday Sarah and Vincent leave for Cornwall (M5, Friday afternoon before August Bank Holiday – I wonder if they ever got there???) but before that they finish the side of the pool wall and help put all the lovely new IKEA bits into the cabin. Looking good!
And they have a last swim before going…. Sadly I am now completely without a voice, and can’t swim. Again. Mum comes to swim and sits in the pool with a gentle current and a very silly grin on her face. To show her how strong the current is I turn it on to full blast and watch her swirling gently round the pool….. Quite a fun thing to do to an aged parent….
On Saturday Guy and I are not speaking to each other. Or, rather, I am not speaking to Guy. Nothing at all to do with being cross – my voice has TOTALLY gone, and I can also wheeze impressively like Mutley. I have never actually wheezed before, so this is quite entertaining. Except my throat is sore, I feel like rubbish, and I’m still not well enough to swim. Honestly, you couldn’t make it up….
And they have a last swim before going…. Sadly I am now completely without a voice, and can’t swim. Again. Mum comes to swim and sits in the pool with a gentle current and a very silly grin on her face. To show her how strong the current is I turn it on to full blast and watch her swirling gently round the pool….. Quite a fun thing to do to an aged parent….
On Saturday Guy and I are not speaking to each other. Or, rather, I am not speaking to Guy. Nothing at all to do with being cross – my voice has TOTALLY gone, and I can also wheeze impressively like Mutley. I have never actually wheezed before, so this is quite entertaining. Except my throat is sore, I feel like rubbish, and I’m still not well enough to swim. Honestly, you couldn’t make it up….
I do manage to get to the clock shop to pick up a HUGE clock – not actually the one I’ve ordered yet (it hasn’t come in) but similar….
On Sunday a select group of friends come round for the Grand Pool Opening and Duck Racing (which is great fun). Guy and I have made a cake to celebrate, and Lynne (my long suffering neighbour who has put up with endless lorries turning in front of her house) has a swim and duly declares it ‘fantastic’. Quite right too!
Gareth and Nic produce a beautiful sign for the cabin – which will from now on be known as the Hazelwood Cottage Aquatic Centre. Excellent! Jo brings a present of cinnamon incense sticks so that Guy and I can have quiet times in the pool…. Utter bliss.
Hours Worked: Not counting, because they were mostly FUN things like testing the current, putting nice things into the cabin and staining the last easy bit of tongue and groove.
Hours in Freezing Cold Pool: About one and a half. Which was probably about 90 minutes too many. And no, it hasn’t caused my lost voice – it’s a bug and it was always going to happen…
Achieved: A POOL THAT WORKS! And is now warm, which is probably just as important….
Wine consumed: Lost count of the bottles, frankly. Well, we did have visitors. And we did have to celebrate… The vast amount of sloe gin consumed was purely medicinal. On the basis that the wine didn’t seem to cure me…
Purchases and Pressies: From IKEA – rattan armchair, two rugs, two plant pot holders, doormat, mirrors, picture, frame and lots of meatballs. OK, so the meatballs are nothing to do with the pool. Towels and a cute teddy bear (Cabin Bear) from mum. Red roses from Guy (aah…) Marvellous sign from Gareth and Nic, incense sticks from Jo, bottle of wine from Lynne.
Still to do: Add skirting board, put in door to plant room, stain all French Windows (three times – no wonder I’ve been putting it off), install outside light, two inside bulkhead lights, switch for fairy lights and probably some sort of heating before the winter.
And that’s it! Except, as this is the last instalment, some extra categories….
Guy’s most vivid memory: Me saying, on Week Three, ‘That should be the end of the really physical work.’ He believes I was mistaken.
My most vivid memory: Bailing muddy water out of the pit one morning before work. And now I’m SWIMMING in the same place! WOO HOO!
Best people to work with: Darren the Digger (utter star) and Wrights Sheds. And Guy, of course….
Worst people: THAT BLOODY BUILDER.
Most irritating aspect: All the people telling me ‘you don’t want to do it like that’, of which there were MANY. I would just like to point out to them (a) it looks fantastic (b) it works and (c) we did most of it ourselves. So there.
I have to say that both Guy and I are finding it distinctly surreal that We Have A Swimming Pool….. I was reading something in the paper today about some famous person, it said ‘Elizabethan manor house, stables, indoor swimming pool…’ and I thought ‘ooh, that would be nice’ before thinking ‘I’VE GOT ONE OF THOSE…’ Maybe it’ll take a little time to sink in! Guy and I have today spent a very pleasant afternoon in the pool celebrating with a bottle of champagne, being swirled around by the current and generally being Very Pleased With Ourselves.
And grinning like idiots…..
On Sunday a select group of friends come round for the Grand Pool Opening and Duck Racing (which is great fun). Guy and I have made a cake to celebrate, and Lynne (my long suffering neighbour who has put up with endless lorries turning in front of her house) has a swim and duly declares it ‘fantastic’. Quite right too!
Gareth and Nic produce a beautiful sign for the cabin – which will from now on be known as the Hazelwood Cottage Aquatic Centre. Excellent! Jo brings a present of cinnamon incense sticks so that Guy and I can have quiet times in the pool…. Utter bliss.
Hours Worked: Not counting, because they were mostly FUN things like testing the current, putting nice things into the cabin and staining the last easy bit of tongue and groove.
Hours in Freezing Cold Pool: About one and a half. Which was probably about 90 minutes too many. And no, it hasn’t caused my lost voice – it’s a bug and it was always going to happen…
Achieved: A POOL THAT WORKS! And is now warm, which is probably just as important….
Wine consumed: Lost count of the bottles, frankly. Well, we did have visitors. And we did have to celebrate… The vast amount of sloe gin consumed was purely medicinal. On the basis that the wine didn’t seem to cure me…
Purchases and Pressies: From IKEA – rattan armchair, two rugs, two plant pot holders, doormat, mirrors, picture, frame and lots of meatballs. OK, so the meatballs are nothing to do with the pool. Towels and a cute teddy bear (Cabin Bear) from mum. Red roses from Guy (aah…) Marvellous sign from Gareth and Nic, incense sticks from Jo, bottle of wine from Lynne.
Still to do: Add skirting board, put in door to plant room, stain all French Windows (three times – no wonder I’ve been putting it off), install outside light, two inside bulkhead lights, switch for fairy lights and probably some sort of heating before the winter.
And that’s it! Except, as this is the last instalment, some extra categories….
Guy’s most vivid memory: Me saying, on Week Three, ‘That should be the end of the really physical work.’ He believes I was mistaken.
My most vivid memory: Bailing muddy water out of the pit one morning before work. And now I’m SWIMMING in the same place! WOO HOO!
Best people to work with: Darren the Digger (utter star) and Wrights Sheds. And Guy, of course….
Worst people: THAT BLOODY BUILDER.
Most irritating aspect: All the people telling me ‘you don’t want to do it like that’, of which there were MANY. I would just like to point out to them (a) it looks fantastic (b) it works and (c) we did most of it ourselves. So there.
I have to say that both Guy and I are finding it distinctly surreal that We Have A Swimming Pool….. I was reading something in the paper today about some famous person, it said ‘Elizabethan manor house, stables, indoor swimming pool…’ and I thought ‘ooh, that would be nice’ before thinking ‘I’VE GOT ONE OF THOSE…’ Maybe it’ll take a little time to sink in! Guy and I have today spent a very pleasant afternoon in the pool celebrating with a bottle of champagne, being swirled around by the current and generally being Very Pleased With Ourselves.
And grinning like idiots…..
And the next project? It’s Bank Holiday Monday, and we spent the morning sitting in Guy’s spare room discussing a new hatch to the loft, shelving, stripping wallpaper and a little bit of rebuilding….. easy peasy, really!
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